Friday, December 11, 2009

eyes wide open

my bed - it's my mother's from when she was a child. my lamp - it's from the time that my mom and i were driving to central pennsylvania to visit family and stopped at the antique shop outside of new bethlehem. the green chair - sarah, andrew and i carried that chair from locust street to the vanbraam apartment. the lady bug pillow case - i told a friend at school that i liked it, so she took it off of her pillow and gave it to me to keep, leaving her pillow bare. the old reader's digest books stacked on the mantel - they're from the trip to appalachia in college; sarah helped me pick them out. the lamp hanging in the window is a christmas present from my brother and his ex-girlfriend. the framed print above my head - red mountains - is from my dad. the paul simon songbook, the rug at my feet, my winter coat, the tea cups, the lights outside of my window, the street that i've driven on almost daily for my entire life, the street light hanging in my view: red, yellow, green. the nick drake song that i listened to on repeat when he told me about when his mom died. sitting at ritters with steve and singing along to "rocket man" with half of the people filling the diner.

this is just as good at adventure. the old is just as meaningful as the new. tonight we said that balance was the hardest thing - it takes a lot more discipline, strength and work than being an extremist. i will have to remind myself that i need a balance of these two lives. neither one is better than the other.

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