everything that happens is from now on . . .

the end of the year nostalgia is coming over me in various waves of emotions.

in summary :: i loved a boy, and it felt like freedom not bondage. laurie and i had an art show. we danced with manny. we called it 360 degrees of love because everywhere we looked, there were people to love. i student taught. i drank a lot of gin and tonics. i had crushes on boys and some of those crushes bore fruit. i lived with sarah and watched the sun set every night over lawrenceville. i listened to a lot of bon iver. my college ex-boyfriend told me to never contact him ever again. i watched a lot of birds flying in the sky. i ate a lot of pierogies. the boy broke up with me. i wrote a break up song about it. we got back together. i got a masters degree. i spent most of my time with mrs. foster and her 3rd grade class at miller. chris and lacy left pittsburgh and moved to boulder. my church bought a building. my dad moved to boston. i drove across the country with laurie. we had more fun than i could have ever imagined. i moved to the grand canyon. i met my arch-nemesis. i fought with 19 year old christians about whether or not drinking was a sin. i spent months in total seclusion. i went to flagstaff a lot. i went to bedrock city. i met luis, an 80-year old cuban who i loved. i didn't miss anyone. i was happier than ever. i was free. i lived the dream. i ate a lot of ramen noodle soup and hot dogs. i spent a lot of time in bed. i spent a lot of time traveling. kate, paul, denise, my parents and amanda came to visit me. i changed, a lot. i left the grand canyon. dominic and i drove across the country. we spent a night at the coral sand dunes in utah. we saw chris and lacy in boulder and danced to youtube videos all night. we saw the bridges of madison county. i saw the sun rise over lake michigan with the skyline of chicago behind me. dominic and i fell out of love with each other on interstate 80 in nebraska. i moved back to pittsburgh and moved in with laurie. i had a difficult time settling back in. i questioned all of my relationships and friendships and motives. steve moved to pittsburgh. i drank a lot of gin and tonics. i took a lot of pictures. i longed for more. i pulled a cop over for running a red light. i was more hipster than ever. i struggled with what it means to be a christian more than ever. i struggled, generally, more than ever. i did things i never would have thought i'd do. i watched people do things i would have never thought they'd do. i learned more about grace and humility than ever before. i tried to be honest with myself and everyone else and, hopefully, everyone who was part of this endeavor grew a little, changed a little, but most importantly, laughed a little at my exploration of the truth.