i'm writing blog posts for my church when i'm in mexico. here's the first one. if you follow the link to the church blog, you'll see some photos i included in the post. but they're pictures i've already put up on the blog, so no big wup.
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we would wake up to the sound of a man over a speaker system. from our balcony, we could see the megaphone attached to a long pole near the main road. i would wake up slowly, often from strange dreams about people i'd long since stopped dreaming about - like ghosts of my childhood. wrapped between blankets, my feet would slowly begin to stir. i would look around the room painted turquoise and watch the sun move slowly across the room. a new day had come once again.
i think the mornings were the best part for me. knowing that i only had 5 days in Matzam, every day was so valuable. like a gift waiting at my doorstep to be opened and enjoyed. my face would touch the fresh air, and i would breathe deep the cool air that had been soaking in the soft, warm light. greeting my eyes, the sun rose patiently, and then a smile would begin to stretch slowly across my face.
at the end of the day, i would finally get time alone. i'd crawl into bed, with all of my blankets, and then rain would start to fall. heavy rain on tin roofs - one of the most glorious sounds in all of the world. and so i would gather some blankets together and sit on the balcony for hours watching and listening to the rain while the mountains stood ominously in the background. i could see them, watching over us, even in the shadows of the night. i would curl up in the blankets, and lay there for hours. i could just be there, like time was no longer a thing, like i might be the only person left in the world, and that would be just fine.
when i was helping the women with their corn, being with them was all that i was thinking about. and when i was talking to someone - i was thinking about us and nobody else. and when we sang together, we were just singing together. and when i ate, i didn't think about the food - i just ate it. i believed in each day, that every single moment would be exactly how it ought to be - as long as i could allow it.
yesterday, at the park, Niya asked me what the quote on the wall meant. we spend a lot of the summer playing at this community rec. center in arlington, on warrington avenue. when it's really hot, they stick a hose out of one of the windows with a shower head attached to create a sort of sprinkler system. we play basketball, get wet, and hang out with the other kids who are there for the day. i love this park. and there's a mural on the basketball court, and it's got a Malcom X quote on the mural, "the best way to enslave a man is to make him believe that he is already free." and i see it constantly, and think about it whenever i'm there. but when niya asked me what it meant, i had a hard time telling her. the world froze to me. so much history, and so much depth, and meaning - slavery - what is slavery? how can i tell Niya what slavery is? i think i said something stupid like, "it's when you don't get paid to work." and then i just asked her if she wanted me to push her on the swing. luckily, she said yes.
we're enslaved to so much. and sometimes we don't even know it because it's normal to us - it's our life that's enslaving us. but when we're freed, even if for just a while, we're given these special portals into the deepest truths about life. it's when freedom stands in such close proximity to slavery, that we can see just how different they are. because sometimes we can't quite tell the difference.
i was free there - like my hair as the wind blew sweetly and steadily across my face when i first stood outside and greeted the morning. i had this day. i had this moment. and these people. and i was glad to be alive. and actually living.
and so i get to go back to mexico for 7 weeks. i'll be spending the summer with jan + pablo and the week-long missionary groups that come to help out in and around Chiapas and the churches that jan + pablo serve. i'll get to travel all around the area, and go back to Matzam for a week. and i can't wait, although i'm nervous about some stuff - mostly i'm just nervous about my stuff, and how it can get in the way. and i hope it's not too hot. and that they don't lose my luggage again.
but, beyond that, i am opened ears and opened eyes. i believe in life and adventure. and i believe that it's an awesome journey that is leading me closer and closer to what is good and true. i know that the life of Christ is reflected everywhere i go. i trust what the world has to offer me. and i believe that with humility and grace, i can share in this experience with anyone i meet.
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