the day before thanksgiving

today, this is what i am thankful for:

1. a new haircut from micheal, emma's downstairs neighbor. socks on tile kitchen floors. and emma, danna, caitlin and emma's new husband all hanging out together. sometimes a good haircut can make you feel really new and special. especially when you get that haircut while being surrounded by good people.
2. dinner at my parents tonight. sitting with my father, mother, and brother, and after so much time, being able to love each other so much better than ever before. we just seem to be a little gentler with each other, a little better at listening, a little less defensive.
3. the mountain goats. i know i'm a little late to being through this phase so emphatically, but it's okay with me.
4. i like my job, mostly.
5. finding more balance. struggling with it daily. fighting for it hourly. surrounding myself with the people who i want to be surrounded by most and finally allowing certain relationships and people in my life go. in the midst of that, being able to give so much more energy to the people who deserve it and who offer things that are lasting, or at least, good. being close to people who aren't hurt by my need to be alone. they are people who never make me feel guilty or bad for being who i am.