and then there's nothing but a dream

things have been just so dark lately. the combination of winter, absolutely hating my job, and indecision about the most important things in my life has created the hardest season of my life yet. and not hard, like a break up, which is also sweet and soft and gentle. but hard, like painful, and self-hatred, and doubt and so many things unfinished, so many things not yet begun.

and so, these days, i have saturday morning. and relief. as silence. as peace. the furthest from monday i could be. the alonest i am. one day of freedom. one day of excitement. one day of possibility. one day of peace.

this picture is what saturday morning looks and feels like. i guess i love this picture because i think it communicates the feeling of this time and space so well.

it felt so simple, so prodigious at the same time.

my parents and i were in boston for the weekend. my dad got a job working up there, and so we were looking for apartments. the house on wellesley ave. won't be sold, hopefully in a few years my dad will be able to work from home in pittsburgh. until then, i'm excited about a new adventure and exploring a new city when i'm able to visit (hopefully once a month). we went to salem for mother's day because, having visited salem before, i knew my mom would love everything about the town. we took a tour of the house of the seven gables and also went to the salem witch museum, which was the proper mix of classy and cheesy. my family walks this line very well. here are some pictures i took there. once i looked at them on my computer, i realized they turned out better than i thought they would. often times, the pictures that i take and think nothing of, turn out to be my favorites. this is may be a little disconcerting. i realize that i have no idea what the word "disconcerting" means, where it came from, and what it means to be "un-concerting" something. concert? it's late. this thought might be embarrassing in the morning.

i like the shadow of the trees on the church.

an old cemetery in salem. by old, i mean really, really old. i thought these pictures turned out much better than the pictures i tried to take in the allegheny cemetery. i think since the tombstones were older, the picture felt like it had more reason. also, the tree is making it happen and so is the light. the tombstones aren't the focus.

the picture makes me feel like i'm a member of the kennedys. the colors of blue and the boats make me feel like this could be a photo in an album that their family made of one of their summers in cape cod.

the colors of these leaves remind me of what colors are like in dreams or when you first wake up.

i like the shadow on the table.

and i, i'm the carnival of peace, i'll probably start a fleet and make no apologies

here are some outside pictures. the weather is getting nicer - i hope spring will take it's time. there's really no need to rush into the hot. but the warm and the sun and the clouds are fine by me.